So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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