He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
