i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
