Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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