I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
