I've blown a few things in my day
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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