I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
