I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
