Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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