what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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