That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
