It's like God shit irony all over that family
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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