There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
