yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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