never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
