She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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