I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
do herpes really smell.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
