She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
