his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Farmville is her only friend.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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