i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
