Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
