u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
