i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
