I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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