Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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