i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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