Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
