The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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