Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
