Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
