return my video game
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
