Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
