Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
