Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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