Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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