with your own penis?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
