Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
