I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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