He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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