I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
