the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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