so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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