there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
