Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
