There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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