I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
one might say we're banned from that church
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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