I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
