the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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