forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
