I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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