I'm drive I can fine osifer
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
They have beer where we have blood.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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